defeat

It's the self-fulfilling prophecy of across state lines. Of ellipses cautiously appearing from vans while we dreamed about trips we never planned. Of living room air mattresses and panic attacks in airplane bathrooms with 2,000 lonely miles to land.

Of uncertain evenings before burned coffee mornings, where empty stares are just a spiraling retreat. And you never did quite find the words you wanted, but a how-to guide on defeat.